Project Hangout

I was recently asked by Dale Hedges to be on the board of Project Hangout. It's a pretty awesome ministry that Dale and Ryan Zeulner are leading. They originated with wanting to create a venue where teenagers can have a good time in a safe environment where they also have a chance to get connected with a lifestyle mentor.

They are focusing now on the Lifestyle Mentoring. Ryan is going around and talking to churches to recruit mentors. Then the mentors get a kid from their church that they have a shared interest with - surfing, snowboarding, skateboarding, art, guitar, shopping, scrapbooking, music, sports, etc. Then they get that kid to ask their non-Christian friends to go hang-out and do whatever fun activity it is they enjoy. Then they begin a relationship, love the kid, and can talk about Jesus.

So I'm on the board of this ministry now and it's pretty awesome. Please consider giving to this ministry at Project Hangout.

My Top 10 List to Parents of Teens

Here's the article I wrote based off my talk to Parents of Teens last week.

Dear Parents of Teens,

It has been a sacred privilege to serve as the Pastor of Student Ministries for the last six years here at Calvary Church. I have loved working with you and your students. I am now in the role of Executive Pastor of Ministry which means that I oversee many of the ministries of Calvary Church from Children’s to Adults. I will also be working directly with our Men’s Ministry and still preaching in the Elevation service. Josh Simpson is now our Junior High Pastor and our Pastor of Student Ministries. He will do an incredible job providing vision, direction, and organization to this ministry.
So after 15 years in youth ministry I have a few things that I have always wanted to tell parents. Some are encouraging and some are challenging. These are things I have seen and learned along the way. I hope that you will listen to them and see how they can help you in your difficult responsibility of parenting your teen. Let’s count down my Top 10 Last Words to Parents of Teens!

10. Listen to your kids. Seriously listen. Stop talking and listen. Try to not react or respond in big ways – even facial expressions. They need to know that they can keep telling you the important events of their life, both good and bad.

9. Love them to the point of embarrassment. They won’t like it in the moment. They will squirm and be embarrassed. They will love it deep down and they will remember it for a lifetime.

8. Take computers out of bedrooms and any other private place. Do it now. Stop reading this article and go take them out…seriously, now. It’s just not smart to put temptations right in your kid’s face. I would take out televisions too. And don’t think that if it’s not connected to the internet that it’s safe. Do you really want them up all night playing video games? Also, they are smarter than you. It’s probably connected to the internet through your neighbor’s wi-fi or something like that. Go, now.

7. Take your kid’s small group leader to coffee and get to know them. This person is spending tons of time talking to your kid about spiritual things and giving their views and opinions on all sorts of things. Don’t you think you should know who that person is? Yeah, we screen people, but so should you.

6. Encourage your small group leader to do extra things with your kid and give them the resources to do so. Small group leaders are normal people who are busy. They want to serve, but they are going to get busy and end up doing the minimum requirements of just Sunday mornings. A phone call, email, or letter from you will go a long way encouraging them to spend more time with your kid and help them know what your child needs. Give them gift cards to restaurants, bowling, Boomers, coffee, or things like that to help them go have fun and model the Christian life to your students. More is usually “caught” by kids than what is “taught.”

5. Don’t put sports first in your kid’s life. If you want your kids to not grow spiritually, then have them commit their entire lives to a sport that will take them out of church on Sundays and Wednesdays and show them that the priority for you is the sport and not their spiritual growth. They will probably never play the sport in an organized way after they are 18, but their spiritual growth could be stunted long-term. Seriously, what is more important?

4. Affirm your youth pastors. They don’t hear it very often. They hear complaints and opinions but not a ton of affirmation. Send them cards, emails, and nice phone calls. And wouldn’t you rather open a card with a nice gift card inside?

3. Encourage your kids to live in a dorm their freshman year of college, if possible. This one is a little bit more subjective and different for some than others. But I just think that they will grow in the ways they need to become a real adult in a college dorm that is somewhat contained and supervised, but it isn’t your house. It will be hard and this can be at a Christian college if you are concerned about the crazy college life, but they need to experience the autonomy. Also, if they go to a secular school, help them get connected with the Campus Crusade or Intervarsity leader at their college. This helped me a ton when I was at UCSB my freshman year.

2. Don’t defend your kids to teachers, small group leaders, and pastors. Just listen to them. They are trying to help your kid. They want to see them grow – not as much as you – but they do. I have never understood why parents fight back and disagree when we point out something going on in their kid’s life.

DRUM ROLL…………..

1. Make sure your kids see your spiritual life. Let them see you reading the Bible in the living room. Let them see you praying or carrying a list of prayer requests. Let them see you sign-up for retreats or Bible studies because you value that. Let them see you spend time in solitude with the Lord or fast or practice other spiritual disciplines. When they see you put God first, they will remember it when the time comes.

Thanks again. I encourage you to email me if you have any questions about this article. But if you don’t like something in Student Ministries, email Josh now ☺

Kind of a Huge Day

Here is how today went:
1. In both main services today, my new position was announced to the whole church. Now, it's for real.
2. I preached in the Elevation service today and it went pretty well. I was really pleased, especially with the tough preparation week.
3. Then we went looking at houses this afternoon. We actually found one we want to put an offer on tomorrow. I will do a separate post about that.
4. I went to our Adult Bible Fellowship (ABF) Leaders meeting to check it out and introduce myself to them at 4pm.
5. I spoke at my last Student Ministries Parent Meeting on my Top 10 Last Words to Parents of Teens. It was pretty cool. I will post the text of that later this week.

Pretty busy and eventful day. I'm tired.

The Student Ministries Office Video

Victor finally put this up on his site so I could grab it. This is a video that some of our college students made for our College Ministry Christmas Party that had a theme of The Office tv show. It's a full 20 minute episode of The Office based on our Student Ministries at Calvary Church. I "act" quite a bit in this piece. It's funny and embarrassing. Enjoy. Tell me what you think. It's in two parts to make it easier to view.

I Started the Move

Today I started my move up to my new office. I need to take some pictures and post them on here. I'm up in the Worship Center of our church. My new office has a big window that looks down on the auditorium of the Worship Center. It's pretty big and cool. I am getting new furniture for it so I'm working from some old crappy stuff in this big office.

I moved up my computer, phone, and my main office supplies today. I got myself situated where I can work from there while getting the rest of my stuff (mostly books) moved up over the next week. Josh Simpson, the guy that gets my old office, wants me to hurry up since his square footage will double with his move.

I am kind of sappy right now over this whole thing. My eyes were getting watery as I was walking with the cart full of my stuff up to my new office. I really have loved my role and the people I work with. It will be weird to not be down there.

I know that the Student Ministries staff is throwing me a "surprise" lunch tomorrow. I'm really excited for that. It's right up my love language alley.

I Stopped Being a Youth Pastor Today

We announced to our volunteer teams today that I am now the Executive Pastor of Ministry, that Josh Simpson is the new Jr High/Student Ministries Pastor, and that Matt Doan will soon not be the H.S. Pastor anymore. It was a pretty big day with those things. I got emotional when I talked to our staff about me transitioning and how it's the first time in 15 years of adulthood that I have not been in youth ministry. It's such an incredibly strange thing for me. It's that weird blend of sadness and total excitement about the future. I will move my office this week and it will feel really official.

I'm very much looking forward to making a positive impact of change for our church in the weeks, months, and years to come.

New Job

Well, it's official. We announced to our Calvary Church staff today that I am moving into a new position. Starting sort of now and officially in January, I am the Executive Pastor of Ministry at Calvary Church. Michael is the Executive Pastor of Administration. If you're not in ministry, it's like Michael is the CFO and I am the COO of the company under the CEO/Senior Pastor.

This is a huge change for me. I will be overseeing the majority of the ministries of Calvary Church including having a level of oversight of the school and preschool. We have something like 150 employees in the church, school, and preschool. So this is a big responsibility. I feel like this is the kind of position that God has created me for. It's going to be a challenge with preaching still in our Elevation service about 15 times per year, giving some direct oversight to Mens Ministry, and overseeing Children's, Students, Young Adults, Outreach, Assimilation, Counseling, Recovery, Small Groups, Adult Ed, Seniors, and some other ministries.

I also can recognize that I am on the younger side for a position like this. But I know that's part of why I am in this position - to bring a fresh and new approach to ministry at Calvary Church. Please pray for me and for a ton of other changes taking place at Calvary.

One of the biggest aspects of this change for me is that I won't be a "Youth Pastor" anymore. My identity (for better or for worse) has been pretty tied into being a youth pastor. It's odd to be on the other side. I think I will be grieving that for a little while.

14 Years

This January 1st will mark the date that I have been a youth pastor for 14 years. Wow! That's a long time. Being a youth pastor is a wonderful thing. It's crazy how much of my identity is in that role. It's weird to know that I have been in youth ministry longer than some of my students have been alive. I was an intern for about a year before this too so I have been in youth ministry for about 15 years. Just thinking...

Ninja Turtle Mask

Last night a Jr High had a superhero theme and I was wearing a huge Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle mask covering my whole head. It was fun to walk around and have nobody know who you are. I would walk up to people and not say anything and it would freak them out. They would all say, "Who is that? Who are you?" I would just walk away, but some would guess or get me to laugh and then they would know. It was funny.

Then we rocked out and led worship. Here is a classic Jr High worship moment.

We played a few really loud songs with a ton of energy. The third one was My Glorious and at the end we dropped all the instruments out and we backed off the microphones and all the kids are singing the awesome chorus, "God is bigger than the air I breathe, the world we'll leave, and God will save the day and all will say, My Glorious." In the middle of that sweet moment we had been working towards, the Jr High tech helper accidentally hits the play button on the CD player and the Rocky theme song, "Eye of the Tiger," starts playing real loud throughout the whole room. Let's just say that it broke the mood but it's still something I love about Jr High.

Big Week

This is going to be a big week.
Monday - Working on my sermon for Elevation this Sunday. Working on big volunteer staff meeting where I teach on the second point of our Student Ministries Mission Statement - "Restore the Hurting." Go looking at houses. We are going to try and get back into a home this next month.
Tuesday - Morning staff meetings. Sermon prep. Then a meeting with the Sr Pastor and other Teaching Pastors about upcoming sermon series. He asked us to bring our thoughts and creativity to the meeting.
Wednesday - Sermon Prep. Big Halloween alternative event at our church called "Light the Night."
Thursday - Vision Meeting. 4 hour Elevation Brainstorm Meeting. Sermon Prep.
Friday - Sermon Prep for this week and next week. Work at AIDS Services Foundation for three hours.
Saturday - relax, probably do some house hunting or offer making.
Sunday - Preach in Elevation. Teach at Volunteer Staff Meeting. Lead Lighthouse (small group).

This is going to be a big week with a lot of mental challenges.

Waiting, Not Wanting

That's the title of this chapter of my life. They asked us in the closing session of the Youth Specialties conference to give a title to this chapter of our lives. I felt like this is what I was learning at the conference. I have wanted a lot of things lately - opportunities, possessions, Angels to make the World Series.

People of God wait upon him when they need something or need God to work in some way. I need to stop wanting and striving and trying. I need to wait upon Him.

NYWC - Sunday Report

Sunday was more of a day of relaxation for us than intense seminar attendance. It felt good because Sunday is usually such an intense day of work for us in the church. Plus, Mike Yaconelli, Marko, and Tic have always encouraged us to ditch sessions and make sure we leave refreshed. So we skipped the morning General Session.

Before I talk about the evening General Session, I have to talk about the fires. It was weird being down here in San Diego when all of SoCal is on fire. Our friends, Jeff and Lisa Myers who are youth pastors too, had to evacuate their house and they only live a couple blocks away from us. Bea actually took the kids down to my parents' house in Capo Beach because it was too smoky in our house in Irvine. It was a bummer for me to not be there for her in that hassle.

The General Session started at 8:00pm which I think might be a little too late for people because it seemed like people were tired and leaving early. Our buddy and brother to Josh, Mark Matlock, was the main speaker. He had a good message for the church of pursuing the Kingdom of God and not pursuing culture so much. Pursuing community and not pursuing structure and schedule.
Desperation Band led worship and I thought they were good, but I guess I'm not as into their songwriting as some of my friends are. I think they are a great band at leading people in worship. I also think having a guy on stage without a guitar and just walking around and singing is kind of weird. He seemed almost mad at the crowd and sort of bored. I don't know. Maybe it's just me. I know tons of people really like them.

Change from Last Post

I was thinking about what I said at the end of my last post. I said that in the past half the speakers were boring, but this year they have been really good. I was trying to say a positive thing, but I think it was actually negative. I have a problem with doing this and I actually think that this could be the kind of thing that Doug Fields was even talking about.

I should say that at times in the past I have maybe connected strongly with four out of the seven speakers in General Sessions and that a few haven't connected with me as much. Some of those speakers have even been people that everyone else really loves.

What I really meant to say is that every speaker this year has really connected with me and I have found them all to be interesting and life-changing in their own way. This year has been more impactful to me than any other year.

NYWC - Saturday Report

I forgot to say how amazing this band called Family Force 5 was. Both awesome, hilarious, and mind-blowing at the same time.
Also, Phil Wickham was unbelievable. I loved his short set. He has the most haunting, beautiful voice and I love his lyrical complexity. I have always known and listened to some Wickham, but this made me love his stuff and I want to buy his new CD.

Then, for the General Session 4 with Doug Fields.

• Grits played which are cool and all, but I was just over it
• They had a girl share from stage who was raised as a Compassion kid in the Philippines. She was the best part of this session. She has been able to do so much through God and the work of Compassion.
  
• My only critique of the general sessions has been these weird "That's My Story" videos about a guy named Mark. They are Velveeta cheesy. The production is over the top sappy which I don't usually expect from YS. We think they might be the story of Marko's life and so I must say that it's not the story that's bad, it's the production.
  
• Then Doug Fields spoke on "Ministry Envy" which was good for me to hear.
• "Our critical comments are a mask for envy"
• "When we talk about everything we are against, we lose the message of what we are for."
• "Celebrating others is the antidote of envy"
• "At the heart of envy is the lie that God owes you something."

I have been very impressed with the General Sessions this year. Usually I am bored by half the speakers, but this year has been hit after hit after hit.

NYWC - I Cried Today

I cried today. I cried hard. God was working through Francis Chan today. Here are some highlights from the General Session with Francis Chan.

• I have no control over any kids and their hearts and it sucks because I'm a control freak.
• Do I really say everything Jesus tells me to say?
• If all I had was the Bible, would I come up with my current version of church and youth ministry?
• If I read the Bible and came to know God and then I went to my first church, what would I expect it to be like?
• If I read the Bible and nothing else, what would I think and expect about the Holy Spirit?
• I'm tired of reading this book and not taking it seriously.
• If I had a friend that I beat everyday at one-on-one basketball and then he says that he met God and God filled him with His "basketball spirit." So then we play again and I expect him to be incredible. But I beat him again. What would I think about my friend. He is a liar because he isn't any different.
  
• He quoted John Piper about heaven which was something like this, "If heaven was filled with all of your friends, all of the fun activities you like to do, all your family, all the leisure time you want, all the money you want, no problems, and no pain - would you be satisfied? Would you be satisfied without Christ?"
• He asked if we have fallen out of love with Jesus. Then at the end he closed with asking his 7-year-old daughter to come up and he held her tightly and she wrapped her whole body around him. He asked us, "Does your relationship with your Heavenly Father look like this?" and he walked off the stage.

That's why I cried. I was convicted of almost all of it.

NYWC Friday Report

Here is the report from Friday. This has been my first wi-fi accessibility.

We got here at 10am and the first session I went to was Jim Burns on Teaching Kids Lasting Values and Morals. I have known Jim forever and had all three of his girls go through my JH group, but I thought it would be fun to see how his sessions are going these days.

Jim Burns highlights:

• John 5 (man at pool of Bethesda) is his favorite story to teach students. Why didn't the man stay and hang around the pool and help others get in after he was healed?
• Sexual purity talks should be given to parents even more than students - how to talk to their kids about sex
• Jim advocates listening, reading, and watching what kids are into. He would have all his kids' friends over to their house to watch the VMA's and have a running commentary.
• 1 Thessalonians 2:8 is his life verse for youth ministry - "our lives as well"
• There is a kid out there for you to believe in. Teach them values and challenge them to live their lives for God.

General Session 1 - Brenda Salter McNeil highlights:

• cool animated moving hick face with live voiceover would be fun for announcements
• Flatfoot 56 - celtic punk Christian band - cool!! Never heard of them, but I loved them. Bagpipes and punk rock!
• The whole stage background was just a big scrim with lighting and projection hitting it. I liked it.
• The seating is set up really weird with chairs facing sideways to the middle with the speaker moved out front. I don't really like it. I like the innovation, but it's uncomfortable.
• "People begin when God dreams them up - not birth or conception."
• "whatever" = if I don't care, it can't hurt me. Hakuna Matata. Her whole talk was based on the Lion King and it was actually pretty good. I was skeptical at first.
  
• "You are Mufasa's boy" - when we go after a Simba we have to remind them that it's not about them, it's about God.
• Youthworkers are Rafiki. Speak truth into their lives about who they are and what is their purpose.

General Session 2 - Phil Vischer highlights:

• Phil Vischer was incredible and inspiring in all the right ways.
• When God's people don't know what to do, they should wait. Wait on God.
• If I have given God my life then where I am in five years is none of my business.
• Impact doesn't occur when we are pursuing impact. It happens when we are pursuing God.
• When you are ready to put your plans and dreams on the altar and kill them, you are ready to pursue them.
  

NYWC Friday Morning

It's before 6am and I'm already showered because I have to finish packing, make breakfast for Grace, tidy the house a bit, drop Ella off at a friends, and take Grace to school before meeting up with our team at 7:30am. Please be praying for my wife, Bea, this weekend. She has two kids who are getting runny noses and I'll be gone for four days. She is also supposed to play bass in this women's event at church that will probably have over 700 people. It's all kinda crazy while I'm gone. But I'm excited for the conference.

NYWC Thursday

We don't leave until early Friday morning since we aren't doing any Critical Concerns and we only live about an hour or so away from the convention center. We are taking 10 people total to the convention. I printed out the list of sessions ahead of time so people can start thinking about what they want to attend. I'm always excited for new staff that have never been to something like this. It usually blows their mind how big it is and how many people are passionate about youth ministry.

My hopes for the weekend (these are for our team and for myself):
1. That my staff will bond together and that the guys and girls will spend time together. Not just the guys playing XBox the whole time. We have 6 men and 4 women attending and no spouses are coming - all staff.
2. That my passion for youth ministry will be rekindled in a fresh way.
3. That I will learn a thing or two about the following areas - youth ministry, service programming, and restoring the hearts of hurting kids.
4. That I will be able to spend time talking with other leaders in similar settings.
5. That I will have a bit of relaxation time.
6. That my minor surgery recovery will be complete so that I can walk around without being in pain.

National Youth Workers Convention #1

Today is Tuesday night and the YS conference is in a few days. I'm looking forward to going and spending a few days getting motivated, spiritually refreshed, educated, and to bond with our team. It's always a great time. I'm looking forward to worshiping with Desperation Band. I've heard a lot of good things about them, but I haven't actually seen them play live. Crowder is of course a highlight.

We are pumped for Josh's brother, Mark Matlock, to be a General Session speaker. It should be cool. I have requested a "shout out" from stage, but it's kind of a big deal to speak at this thing so I doubt we will get it.

Phil Vischer, Veggie Tales creator, will be speaking as well as some of the standards like Marko and Doug Fields.

The other thing I love about YS is just hanging out with youth pastor friends and talking about life in ministry and share the good, bad, and ugly that we experience as pastors. It's so encouraging and motivating to be in a place with about 5,000+ other people that are doing the same thing as you. You leave with a sense that you are part of something bigger than yourself.

Staff Evaluations

In our Student Ministries area of church we have been conducting Job Performance Evaluations in the past couple weeks. There are 9 full-time people and four interns in our ministry. I am involved in the evaluation of all 13 people. These are 12 one-hour meetings so they can take up a lot of time, but I absolutely love them. We aren't really harsh with people, but we do genuinely dig into stuff that needs to be improved. We also spend time reflecting on highlights of ministry, things they do well, disappointments, how their job affects their relationship with God, areas of improvement for the ministry, and areas for them to improve. We use some numerical evaluation - what score out of 1-5 do you give yourself in areas like Punctuality, Teachability, Use of Time, Attitude, Teaching, Relational Ministry, Organization, Time with God, etc.

It's been so good to hear stories of fulfillment in ministry and even the stories of frustration and try to work through it. I also am excited to see people improving areas of weakness.

I have the pastors of JH, HS, College, and our Admin Asst evaluate me. They all get to gang up on me and Josh Simpson, JH Pastor, takes a very strong leadership role. It's funny at first, but then we get into some really good serious stuff about my leadership and ways that it can be improved. I think that every leader should open him or herself to having people who are organizationally "under them" evaluate them.