It happened again...

So yesterday I had about 30 minutes between meetings and I thought I would work on my office a little bit. I'm moving this big bookshelf by myself and just sort of singing to myself. The thing that is so strange is that for some reason I'm singing, "I've found my thrill...on Blueberry Hill." Those are the only words I know to that song so I'm humming and singing those just barely out loud. Bad enough, right?

Then I hear a sound like "mmm, mmm" or something like that, but I don't know what it is. I turn around and there is Victor standing looking at me with a huge smile on his face because he has walked in on me singing another weird song.

I need help.

Even More Troubling...

I am getting Ella dressed and I realize that I'm singing out loud Lady Marmalade by Christina Aguilera and a bunch of other girls. The song from Moulin Rouge.

What's wrong with me????

This is troubling...

I woke up today with "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion from Titanic completely in my head. I was belting it out in the shower. I think I might see a therapist today.

Jack Bauer Isn't Real

Why doesn't Kiefer Sutherland just break out of prison like he did in 24 Season 2?? Jack Bauer isn't real.

Letter to Darfur

Dear Darfuri Refugee,

I need to tell you about something horrible happening here in the United States. You may not believe it but it is actually true. You see, here in America we have these giant stores that sell things like furniture, clothing, hammers and waffle irons. These stores get very busy during the month of December because lots of people buy presents for their friends and family to celebrate holidays like Christmas and Hanukkah. Over the past few years many of these stores have stopped issuing the usual "Merry Christmas" greeting to shoppers and on their mail order catalogs and instead say, "Happy Holidays". I know, it is hard to imagine, isn't it!?! Here we are trying to live out the true meaning of Christmas by spending lots of money on things people need really bad, and we can't even get a little "Merry Christmas" from the check out girl.

Well, I knew you of all people would be able to relate with our difficult plight, since in your country of Sudan over the past few years over 200,000 of your people have been murdered through acts of genocide and 2.5 million have been forced from their homes like you and now live as refugees. I hope you will forward this email to your people so they will understand the atrocities happening here in the United States and will be encouraged that they are not the only people in the world who are suffering.

Merry Christmas!
Your Concerned American Friend
www.savedarfur.org

Ninja Turtle Mask

Last night a Jr High had a superhero theme and I was wearing a huge Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle mask covering my whole head. It was fun to walk around and have nobody know who you are. I would walk up to people and not say anything and it would freak them out. They would all say, "Who is that? Who are you?" I would just walk away, but some would guess or get me to laugh and then they would know. It was funny.

Then we rocked out and led worship. Here is a classic Jr High worship moment.

We played a few really loud songs with a ton of energy. The third one was My Glorious and at the end we dropped all the instruments out and we backed off the microphones and all the kids are singing the awesome chorus, "God is bigger than the air I breathe, the world we'll leave, and God will save the day and all will say, My Glorious." In the middle of that sweet moment we had been working towards, the Jr High tech helper accidentally hits the play button on the CD player and the Rocky theme song, "Eye of the Tiger," starts playing real loud throughout the whole room. Let's just say that it broke the mood but it's still something I love about Jr High.

A Memo to Melissa Brosch

Melissa loves Kelly Clarkson. I just read some stuff about Kelly Clarkson that bugs me. Melissa, Melissa, Melissa, this pop singer isn't all you think she is. Here are a few things:
1. She admits that all of her songs are basically personally untrue. She has never been in love and has never experienced the break-up struggles that she has been singing about lately.
2. She says, "I shouldn't be a mother at all, because I'd be horrible. I'm not willing to be that selfless. I'm not keen on marriage."
3. She also says that making a relationship work requires too much effort.

I thought I liked Kelly Clarkson, but it turns out that she is just a fake, self-centered sloth. Melissa, stop encouraging the young people of our church to admire this kind of person.

151,000

That's how many hits you get when you Google "Barack Obama Antichrist"

That about proves it!

Bea on Film

I had the Macbook with the iSight in bed tonight and I made Bea talk on camera. It's good stuff. You will love it. The lighting is really dark and the sound is low, but that's perfect. You will see how much Bea loves blogging. Plus I haven't been preaching as much lately so I miss making the confessionals.

Paris Update

This is funny. Paris Hilton's attorneys have asked the governor for a pardon. This is how her petitions begins: "Let me first begin by saying that I grew up as a child enjoying all of your wonderful films. You really are the truly great action hero for our time. You are doing a great job in the great state of California."

That's hilarious. Total brown-nosing. She is desperate. It's kind of sad in a pathetic sort of way.

The Governator's spokesman said of her request, "We will treat it no differently than any other of this nature." The funny part is this is exactly the kind of sentence Arnold would say, especially when being parodied. He always says, "of this nature." Say that in the Arnold voice, "aahhvv thees naycha." Awesome.

Paris Hilton Prison

Can I just say that I love the judge that sentenced Paris Hilton to 45 days in jail for driving with a suspended license and other traffic citations? She was cited multiple times and basically just ignored the tickets and warnings. I read in the LA Times today that the judge is a very reasonable man who doesn't normally make examples of people, but people that know he felt like she just thumbed her nose at him and was waiting for him to dismiss the case. So he didn't give her the minimum sentence that wouldn't involve jail time, but threw the book at her and gave her 45 days of jail time. He said that celebrities have to obey the law just like everybody else. I love it. He should have said that celebrities who are famous for nothing should go to jail for being con artists against society. Maybe all the people who watch her show and are actual fans should go to jail too...or maybe mental institutions.

Coming in 2008 - The Simple Life: Prison Edition. I would watch that.

Shout out from Marko

Wakebird.com and Calvary Church got a shout-out from Marko over on his blog. Check it out here. Does anyone know who the HS Pastor is that he is talking about? That's a funny story.

Obama Article

I thought this was a funny article on Barack Obama called "Free Obama's White Grandmother." It appears that Obama wants to keep his street cred up by not showing that he is half Caucasian. I think his multi-ethnicity actually helps him in the true race that he is running - the race for Anti-Christ! He has Muslim, Christian, and I think Buddhist roots. He is white, black, and even lived in Indonesia for a while. He is perfect. Bono has nothing on Barack. Obama is the Anti-Christ for sure.

Do you disagree? Who would you say is more likely?

Barack Obama as Anti-Christ Update

A friend sent me this article in an email but there is no citation so I was skeptical to post it, but I'm not a journalist so who cares.

Probable U. S. presidential candidate, Barack Hussein Obama
was born in Honolulu, Hawaii, to Barack Hussein Obama, Sr., a
black Muslim from Nyangoma-Kogel, Kenya and Ann Dunham,
a white atheist from Wichita, Kansas. Obama's parents met at the
University of Hawaii.

When Obama was two years old, his parents divorced. His father
returned to Kenya. His mother then married Lolo Soetoro, a radical
Muslim from Indonesia. When Obama was 6 years old, the family
relocated to Indonesia. Obama attended a Muslim school in Jakarta.
He also spent two years in a Catholic school.

Obama takes great care to conceal the fact that he is a Muslim. He
is quick to point out that, "He was once a Muslim, but that he also
attended Catholic school."

Obama's political handlers are attempting to make it appear that
Obama's introduction to Islam came via his father, and that this
influence was temporary at best. In reality, the senior Obama returned
to Kenya soon after the divorce, and never again had any direct
influence over his son's education. Lolo Soetoro, the second husband
of Obama's mother, Ann Dunham, introduced his stepson to Islam.
Obama was enrolled in a Wahabi school in Jakarta. Wahabism is the
radical teaching that is followed by the Muslim terrorists who are now
waging Jihad against the western world.

Since it is politically expedient to be a Christian when seeking major
public office in the United States, Barack Hussein Obama has joined
the United Church of Christ in an attempt to downplay his Muslim back-
ground.

This could actually seriously damage Obama's chances of being the anti-Christ. I think a radical Muslim background could hurt his chances of becoming President. However, in true Anti-Christ fashion, Obama could overcome this setback and that would virtually crown him as the big bad guy of the end times.
If Gavin Newsome gets beyond his current struggles with a shiny image, he might be a longshot for anti-Christ.
My main man, Bono, is still in the hunt.

Side-note #1 - I have to give my friend, Matt Doan, some credit here. He truly began this whole Anti-Christ guessing game and it has been a source of some good humor. But I think he still has his money on Vladimir Putin. Come on, that's yesterday's news.

Side-note #2 - How weird would it be to have a President with the middle name - HUSSEIN.

Weigh-In

I forgot to weigh myself yesterday morning so I am posting it today.

Weight Tracking Summary
Your current weight : 171.6 lb
Weight change since your last recorded weight | -3 lb
Total weight change to date | -16.4 lb

WELL DONE! You've recorded a loss this week. That's great news!

However, we notice that you've lost more than an average of 2 pounds per week over three or more weeks. This rate is too rapid — it may be unsafe or unhealthy.

While we're proud of your achievements and pleased you're making changes in your life, we need you to concentrate on one more thing: You should slow the pace of your weight loss to no more than 2 pounds per week.

So I lost 3 pounds and I wasn't even good this week. It's so weird. Maybe the good week doesn't take effect for a while. Also, maybe Marie Doan's delicious food is also magical and makes you lose weight instead of gain weight. I love it!!

It says that I have to slow the pace of my weight loss. Hilarious! Awesome! Join me on the weight loss journey to health with Weight Watchers Online.

Steps to Peace and Quiet

My dad sends me a cheesy forward email every day and I thought this one was actually funny.

If you are sitting next to somone who irritates you on a plane or train
follow these instructions:

1. Quietly and calmly open up your laptop case.

2. Remove your laptop.

3. Start up

4. Make sure the guy who is annoying you, can see the screen.

5. Close your eyes and tilt your head up to the sky.

6. Then hit this link: CLICK HERE

This could also be called "How to get arrested"

Briefs

1. My wife is going to Winter Formal tonight. That sounds weird. She is chaperoning for the High School she teaches at. I'm staying home with Grace.
2. I played Guitar Hero for the first time last night. That stuff is fun.
3. The Pro Bowl is the lamest game ever.
4. Some African missionaries from our church say that they think it's fine to go to Kenya even with the Travel Advisory. Others who have been to Kenya recently agreed. The people from Christ's Hope think it's fine too. We shall see.
5. I have been reading a lot lately. I need to update my reading list because my Ph.D. program is completely altering my current reading. A few of the current books: Friendship and the Moral Life - Wadell. Integrative Theology - Lewis and Demarest. Wasting Time with God - Issler.
6. A Barack update will be coming soon with some revelations about radical Muslim connections.
7. I preach in Elevation on Feb 18, Feb 25, April 22, April 29, and May 6.
8. Our church just hired Gary McIntosh as a consultant and he will be observing on April 22. As you saw above, I am speaking that day. Yikes!
9. I am directing at Elevation tomorrow. It's kind of fun. I work in the Tech Booth once a month or so as a director to make sure that the people running lights, sound, video, PowerPoint, recording, and that they are all doing their jobs at the right time and in the right way. I like it. It probably has something to do with my issues with control, but I also know what's going on in the service potentially better than anybody else (a few of us could be described this way) so it makes sense to have me back there.
10. Grace has been sick a lot lately and I feel so bad for our sweet little girl.
11. We are going to Maui on March 3 for a week and I can't wait.
12. Then we are going to Vancouver Island on April 9 for a week and that is going to be awesome too.
13. I love Light Ruffles - Cheddar and Sour Cream flavor. They are awesome and not horrible for you. Fat Free. 15 chips for one point for any WeightWatchers people.
14. We find out the gender of our baby next Friday. WOOHOO!!

Praying with Coffee

Have you ever been holding a cup of delicious, hot coffee right before a group prayer is about to start? Then the prayer begins and you are still holding it and want to take a sip and feel the warm liquid rush down your throat. But you can't because you are praying? Or can you? Such a conundrum.

Would you take the sip?

Obama on the Front Page of LA Times Again

Dude, the LA Times is campaigning for Barack. He was on the front page of the paper again today with a picture from when he was the first black president of the Harvard Law Review - foreshadowing?? See the article here.



The guy is just a media darling. I was even talking to a friend at church this week about it and she said something like, "I know he's supposed to be liberal and all, but I just really like him." It's interesting because I agree.

Melissa said that Sarah Sumner gave him her book "Leading Above the Line" when she was in D.C. Maybe that will help him in his ascendency to the position he is seeking. Not the President, the Anti-Christ!!

So do you all think I'm a freak for writing about this all the time???

Things I'm Thinking About...

- Who will my church pick for a consultant?
- Am I really supposed to accept my sin and that will help?
- How many people in Los Angeles will die from the nuclear bomb that exploded on 24 and will Jack Bauer and the rest of CTU get radiation diseases?
- What will I post about on Sanctity of Life Day this Sunday?
- When am I going to get time to prepare my teaching for Elevation on Jan. 28?
- Why did the Chargers lose and why did they do so many stupid things in that game?
- Will my parents be able to watch Grace when we go to Hawaii because I already paid for the tickets and hotel?
- How many kids are going to turn in applications for Africa because 36 have taken applications and I'm worried we will have too many?
- A big decision I have to make at church that everyone has an opinion about how it should be handled.
- Do I have issues with submission and authority?
- Will the baby be a boy or a girl?
- Will we get our money back for the adoption?
- Why is living simply so hard?
- Lots of other church issues I can't write in a public blog.
- Is Barack Obama the Anti-Christ?
- Why did Erin want me to say that her family is the best family ever?
- Why do I keep forgetting to ask her about her marathon?
- Is March 3rd (the day we leave for Maui) ever going to be here?
- Will I ever speak at a camp again?
- Am I going to drop my PhD program?
- Will Peyton Manning be able to finally beat the Patriots?
- When will the next U2 album come out?
- Where do babies come from?